Organizing your daily Madness

Charlie Bit Me

Donald Trump bails out Ed McMahon.  Buys his house and leases it back to him.

National Cannonball Championship!

Sweet the economy isn’t that bad.

US gets Gold and Silver in Women’s Gymnastics All Around Competition.

Bad time to have a flat tire.

The Full Extension, Parisian style.

Compromise: HillDog’s name to be placed in the ring during convention.

What the hell is wrong with MSNBC? Should pre teen girls get bikini waxes?  Solid journalism.

It seems, these days, we can’t go an election cycle without some sort of sex scandal involving a public official gracing our newspaper headlines. Whether it’s John Edwards cheating on his wife or Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick sending illicit text messages to his “lover,” sex and politics seem to go hand in hand since Thomas Jefferson had an “extended family.”  Sorry we’re not going to cover FDR, JFK only the new new affairs.

Here’s a list of some of the more noteworthy extramarital transgressions involving our public officials in recent history.    

Rep. Mel Reynolds, an Illinois Democrat, was involved in a sex scandal with a teenage girl. Yeah that’s what you want out of your elected Representative.

Republican Sen. Bob Packwood of Oregon couldn’t keep his hands off women.  Bad sure, but you’ll read much worse, if you don’t know it already.

Senator David Vitter Louisiana Republican has always denied his connections and use of New Orleans prostitutes.  However the good Senator did come clean about his number showing up on a DC madam’s phone list as well as a few other “issues” he has cleared up with his wife and our lord and savior.

We all remember Senator Larry Craig who inadvertently has made airport men’s bathrooms an uncomfortable place to be. Senator Craig has taken the Clinton approach of denial.  But don’t worry he’s not gay.  

New York Governor Eliot Spitzer resigned after news becomes public that he paid for the services of a high end call girl.  Ironic since Spitzer came into office, “as a fierce enforcer of ethics in public life.” 

“The Whore”

New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey took a different approach to sex scandals when he came out of the closet as a gay man and resigned as Governor of New Jersey. Unexpected for a Republican.  

The Governor, the former (maybe current) lover, and his poor wife.

Detroit Mayor Democrat Kwame Kilpatrick who is undergoing a fight for his political career. As hard as he tries he can’t seem to stay out of jail for parole violations.  However parole violations aren’t a major concern for the married Mayor who was busted by text.  Text messages the Mayor sent in 2002 and 2003 indicated he had a sexual affair with his chief of staff (who is pictured below).

San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom committed a cardinal sin by having an affair with his campaign managers wife.  Having worked a brief stint in local and national politics I can tell you what a total, colossal violation of trust this is. Especially given the nature of this relationship. Newsom trusted his political future to his campaign manager the least he could do is not f*&k his wife.

The one time aid and wife to the campaign manager.

Republican Presidential candidate and Arizona Senator John McCain had a little known affair with his current wife when he was married to his ex-wife.  This past affair hasn’t made much headlines for McCain and really goes to show that sex and politics don’t have to mean the end to a political career.  It just means you’re just not a good person. That’s all.  She’s the winner!

John Edwards recent marital infidelities have left his personal life splattered like a bug across the windshield of American politics. Of course we delight to learn that Senator Edwards has faults, is human, isn’t a cyborg, unlike his old running mate - Senator John Kerry (who is now rumored to be a potential VP choice for Obama).  However John’s affair really takes the cake.  Not only did he cheat on his wife which is an unconscionable offense in and of itself but the icing on the cake was the fact that his wife was in remission from cancer at this time of the affair.  Well done Senator you’re the biggest son of a bitch I know.

The Senator and the “other” woman

My point here is that these are our leaders.  The people we elect to represent our interests.  Now no one is perfect but come on get it together.  What pisses me off the most is that these representatives spend most of their time screwing us, the taxpayer, with higher taxes, less services and in many cases can’t even pass a budget on time leaving many families out in the wind and costing us millions more in interest payments because they can’t do their jobs.  Given all these significant deficiencies how do they possibly have the time to f*&k all these people and us at the same time?

A foreign reporter gets clipped in this video below, she throws on a bullet proof vest and goes on reporting. Not your average drama queen. When asked what if the bullet hit your head the producer chimes in saying, “that’s a risk we are willing to take.”

Jessica Higgins of Fullerton, California went into labor six weeks early.  She spit out the baby between the ficus tree and a few lawn ornaments.

I don’t think Jessica imagined that this would be her baby’s first view of the world.

Swedish wrestler discards bronze medal throws it on the ground.

If you’re anything like Madness you’re up late every night watching either Phelps just f$^king dominate or 12 year old women divers jump from a height that’s not for the weak willed and make literally no splash.  Yes it’s creepy.  One of the odd things, that for some reason at this Olympics, has everyone talking is why Olympic divers shower after every dive?  Madness’s first thought was shrinkage, second thought addictive chemical bath.  Apparently I’m a little off. Why Olympic Divers Shower.

Hungry? How about some rat! Come on you’re a little curious, tastes like chicken.

LOL

This should freak out my girlfriend. 

Gasoline prices drop = people stop buying smaller cars.  Why? Because you look stupid in them.

Come on.  Pussy.

So much for “Freedom of Speech.”  I’m with Baldwin, off to Canada!  Actually never mind…

Developers to build indoor 35 story indoor Ski Mountain

Cheatin’ commies

More Madness from the Olympics as the Spanish Basketball Team ruffles some feathers within the Asian community by taking this controversial yet HILARIOUS photo below.